Yesterday Ella and I dropped Trish off at her church, then we went to the grocery store.
The questions started before we left the church property.
“Do you go to church, Dad?”
“No, honey, I don’t go.” Holy. Where did this come from? Maybe that’s the only question. Maybe this is a one-in-a-million moment when she won’t ask a follow up.
“Why you don’t go to church, Dad?”
Oh, man! Isn’t she too young for this conversation?
“Well, I don’t enjoy going to church.” There. She’ll understand that concept: don’t do it if it doesn’t feel good.
“Why you don’t enjoy going to church, Dad?”
“It just makes me uncomfortable, Sweetheart.”
“Why it make you comfrontable, Dad?”
“I don’t go to church because they talk about things I don’t necessarily believe in, and I disagree with a lot of what’s said.”
“Why you dis, disagree with them, Dad?”
Why is my daughter channeling my mother?!?!?! Maybe I should just turn around and go to the damn church. No, this is good for her to hear, even if she doesn’t understand it.
“Church and religion are based on faith. You really have to believe in something in order to worship it, and there are things about church I just don’t believe. I don’t see evidence of a need for religion, in the form of a particular church. I see evidence of God and holiness and spirituality. But church isn’t something I buy, necessarily.” Help me, God!
“Why does Mom go to church?”
Hmmm. This is a curious twist.
“Mom goes because she enjoys the ceremony and the rituals and the spiritual experience, and I guess she believes.
Look! The playground! Want to go to the playground!?”