Don’t eat a whole pint of ice cream in a single setting.

Cheap ice cream, like cheap beer, is just as good as the expensive stuff.

Adults are always right.

Religion is flawless and is to be strictly adhered to.

Thick crust is “more for your money.”

Rednecks are geographically confined to the South.

Boys are better than girls.

Bugs Bunny, Road Runner and Foghorn Leghorn cartoons have no bearing on reality.

Superstition is silly.

Protect the lead.

You can only be good at one thing.

Rock and roll is crap.

It’s not OK to cry.

Suppress the urge to tell your boss to go attempt self-procreation.

You’ll never need to know math in the real world.

If you walk around outside barefoot you’ll get worms.

If you sleep with your mouth open flies will lay eggs on your tongue and you’ll wake up with a mouth full of maggots (that one might be too good not to pass down).

Advertisements