I had a dream last night.

The blogstats number was rolling over like the billboards that track the national debt, from 300 to 3,000 in seconds, and counting. Readers are commenting. My blog — this blog! — is so popular, I don’t have to work for anyone else.

It’s the dooce effect.

Hey, I said I was dreaming. I can dream, can’t I?

When I woke up the next morning I almost called in sick. To hell with it. I’ll stay home and play with the kid. After all, I have a successful blog! Then, slowly, I came to my senses.

In reality, I recently emailed Bill Brazell, director of author services at FM, Federation Media, the company supporting all the popular kids. FM lines up the advertisers. I figure I might have a chance. After all, I’ve written for newspapers with circulations over 200k. I had fans. I think. … No, I’m pretty sure I had regular readers. So, I ask the guy, what’s it take? I invited him to read shelookslikeme when I thought I had some pretty witty posts.

He was very polite. The most polite blow-off I’ve had in a long time.

He asked what my monthly traffic was.

I told him I’d only been doing this for a few weeks. That I’m in beta, more or less, and only told a handful of people. And my traffic was, umm, a couple hundred so far.

FM doesn’t even consider blogs with fewer than 700,000 visits a month.

So come on, people! Spread the word! Visit often! I have an early retirement to start!