Premortem visit with the rents

Today, after I escape hell, we’ll climb back into the Passat for another road trip, a four-hour drive north to my dad’s in Virginia. We’ll spend Saturday discussing what will be ours when the folks kick the bucket, which probably won’t be long from now.
My father is old, 51 years older than I. That makes [...]

Springing

I swear, more people visit this site when I don’t write anything for several days.
What’s that supposed to mean?
I’ve been consumed with yard work since we returned from Kentucky last weekend. Our new backyard wasn’t landscaped at all — no grass, just some crappy trees, lots of North Carolina clay. Our builder put sod down [...]

Overheard

Ella’s had a slight fever since yesterday morning. She doesn’t have any other noticeable symptoms or an illness, but this morning she said, “My ears are going ‘ding dong’.”
………………
Trish bought Ella an Easter basket and was hoping to surprise Ella with it as a gift. Ella found it.
Ella: What’s this, Mama?
Trish: That’s an Easter happy.
Ella: [...]

Technicalities

Tonight, Ella, by herself, removed her diaper.
Then, on her own, climbed atop the toilet and peed.
Then Trish and  I realized our instructions need to be more explicit.
So we told her to first lift the lid, then sit on the toilet and pee.

Hell is spelled J O B

All these years, I’ve been mistaken.
I thought a job was something people enjoyed.
It’s not. A job is hell.
I wake up every morning and go to hell.
Then I come home in the evening and try to forget it ever happened.
Next morning, hell.
In the evening, escape from hell.
Weekends, stay as far away from hell as possible.
Mondays, hell [...]

I’m back

It’s Wednesday.
Who had their checks already written to the Humane Society?
Well, you can rip ‘em up. I made it back … alive!
And we all made it back without any more puking. Ella slept through the mountains. Whew! It was nine hours of driving, another two hours with three pit stops, plus we lost an hour [...]

I had a dream

I had a dream last night.
The blogstats number was rolling over like the billboards that track the national debt, from 300 to 3,000 in seconds, and counting. Readers are commenting. My blog — this blog! — is so popular, I don’t have to work for anyone else.
It’s the dooce effect.
Hey, I said I was [...]

Road chunks

We overcame a huge obstacle on the first leg of our journey west. And I don’t mean the nasty dumplings at Cracker Barrel.
First, we hit the beautiful mountains around Asheville, N.C., and it starts to rain. Then it starts to get dark. Then Trish reminds me that our low-beam headlights aren’t working. 
This is bad, but it’s [...]

If I’m not back by Wednesday

Tomorrow we start the long road trip.
About 10 hours in the car, from North Carolina to western Kentucky.
It’s the mother-in-law’s birthday. She’s 79!
Her birthday is on St. Patrick’s day, and she always celebrates with a green theme, and she acts like she’s Irish even though her family left Switzerland a couple of generations back. She [...]

It’s happened

It was one of those days I knew would arrive.
I didn’t know it would arrive so soon. But I’ve been thinking about this for a long, long time. Even before I knew I was going to be a dad. Because I think it’s very cool. It’s a right of passage. It demonstrates intellect. It demonstrates [...]